Zach: coming soon -or- Fatty Foods (n.) - foods enjoyed by fatties.

On Sun, Jan 25, 2009 at 5:17 PM, Zachary Hite wrote:

Word All,

My name is Zachary. I am a fat Hite.

I recently went to the Plasma donation center. Every time you donate,
you are weighed to insure that you are not loosing excessive amounts
of weight due to donating. This past time I went, I weighed more than
I ever have in my life -- 230 pounds. Apart from my utter shock and
horror that during the course of having approximately a liter of
plasma removed from my body, I miraculously gained weight, I came to
one inadvertent conclusion -- I am a fat Hite.

To add insult to my injury, I was handed a placard to commemorate my
burgeoning mass and cardiovascular lipid levels(see attachment for
details). As the information on healthy eating was being outlined to
me by a rather unsavory phlebotomist, the drone of his voice was
drowned out by my inner monolog. The movements of his mouth did not
match the words I heard him say in my head, "Well, Fatty. We weren't
able to sell your fatty-fat-fat lipid encrusted plasma the last time
you donated due to your being a
fatty-fat-fat-eating-all-the-fat-you-can-find-fatty and your plasma
was more like Crisco than it was what we were looking for, so we had
to throw it out. Now listen up..."

The rest of what he said was unremarkable. I went home. And now, a
few days later, I am writing to all of you so that I can post post my
trials, struggles, and triumphs on the fat hite blog. Accept this as
my first entry. So do I need to sign up or get a login?

--
Much Love,
--Zach